Category: Poetry

Jungle
The funny thing is
That the jungle
It’s louder than the cities

The birds and bugs and trees
They sing in gentle harmony
It’s loud and definitely not silent

Whereas in the city
I can hear the concrete pouring
Faintly
The bird buzzing
Moments ago
Mostly still right now here though

The sound of computer blaring
There’s a car and a voice
Was that a faint laughter?
Snoring

The jungle though
It’s louder than the city
It never sleeps

To say then
That humans too
In these big grand cities
With phone calls and music
And banging too

We are the same as the jungle
Dancing to a different tune
As I blast my reggae music
I join the dance
Moving to the sun and moon 🌙

High
It’s hard to go that high
Because then you can come down
And hit the floor
And it feels like everything
Because
You were flying
With the birds in the sky
To hit the ground
With your face first
Yet
If you didn’t fly high
You wouldn’t hit the ground
And if you never left
You would have never flown
And known the taste of freedom
Of pure
Relentless joy
So the pain
The aftermath
Is worth every fall
Every tear
Because
That joy was so grand
So let us feel
Feel it so deep down
And do it all over again
Así es la vida
For
This is life…

There was once a boy
That I thought that’d I marry
He was brutal
And raw
Like the men that I carried
Handsome too
In his own sort of way
I thought he’d be mine
At the end of the day

Fatalism
Believing fate is inevitable
I do believe it to be true
If then
What happened to me and you?
How was I so sure
And you so blind
To see
The hurt that I buried

I’d like to reach out
And make sure you know
That you’ve always been
First on my show
In my mind
Playing each day
You wisp by like the winter rain
I try and hush you away
Yet there you remain
Forbidden whisper
A lion to tame

I’m not ashamed anymore
To say it was you
Or scared
Of how this might look
Years have passed
Yet the feeling remains

Hope your new girl makes you happy
I guess
Maybe you’ll marry her
In a big white dress
For when I see you
I choke up inside
I can no longer pretend to hide
Thought you were my person
Ask anyone
I was 100% sure

Except every time you are alone
You fill the void with someone new
No space really for me to intrude
So maybe I left
And for that I’m sorry
But you filled each gap
So quickly
Without worry

That maybe I’d be waiting
At the end of the silence
No you didn’t
You just grabbed onto life rafts
So off we float
There’s no ending to my story
Maybe I’ll find
Someone else to marry

Sophomore year college – my parents got a divorce
I didn’t cry but one tear
And I only told
One person the story

The first person I saw
When I got to my house
No significance in her worry

I buried it deep
Deep as the ocean
Because if I put it there
It couldn’t hurt me

It was survival
Or so I thought

So I needed some time
To heal
And reconvene
Some time
To do just me

But I felt judged for it
Over and over
Not just by people

But by my own inner voice
What’s wrong with me?
It echoed deep within

Where is my person
Why don’t I fit in

Everyone has someone
Time and time again

Where is mine
Why don’t I fit in

Well little did I see
That I was just grieving

And little did I note
That I needed time

Even when I was ready
That voice
It still echoed in my mind

What’s wrong with you
Why don’t you fit in

I became so scared to lose
Anything that came close
Not leading with love
Or honest or truth

Trying to be perfect – So saying nothing at all – Instead of the truth – Which was I love you –

But with fear of abandon
Or I’ll abandon you

Now I see
From a Birds Eye view
The time it took
And the people I viewed

I needed that space
To figure out within me
The best course of action
The tears that I held deep

That voice inside though
That echoed
What’s wrong with me

I can finally see
Nothing was ever wrong
You just needed time

Time you didn’t want to give
A time to breathe
To forgive

And now I’m here
I’m almost 30!
All things a new light
I can see clearly

For if to be alone
Means something is wrong
Then I’m sorry society
You do not know hurt at all

To be alone is to heal
And find oneself beneath the surface
The forgotten warrior
A shimmering earnest

My pain and hurt
They turned into diamonds
Not covered up with the scars of another
But naked bear for the world to discover

Share my pain
My happy and sorrow
Love and patience
For these things I borrow

Until another light
When all today is ‘morrow

We’re not nice to our girls
We call them ugly, fat, skinny
It’s the first thing we notice
Nothing more, nothing less

We are not nice to our girls
We judge them by age
19 or 69
We tell them they are too this
Too that
Lips too small
Boobs too little
Ass not fat

We are not nice to our girls
First thing we say
Is based off how she looks
Or maybe how she cooks

We are not nice to our girls
Used to be sold off to some man to marry
Back in the day
We treat them the same though
A prize to be won
And a trophy to carry

We are not nice to our girls
Judgment everywhere
Late 20s! When are you getting married
Well you better have babies soon
Before it’s too late

We are not nice to our girls
Is she single?
Why
Oh poor girl
Oh poor her
Why can’t she find a man?

No kids?
Oh why not?
Why NOT?

We are not nice to our girls
We don’t give them room to grow
And spread her wings
In whichever direction SHE chooses
Alone or not
With kids or not
However the f*** she wants

We are not nice to our girls

We don’t give her a choice

Because see

These things

Don’t fall upon the boys

Not married at 30?
You’re still a kid

Not with anyone?
Oh he’s just playing the field

Married a few times?
Oh you’ll get it right

Don’t have kids?
Don’t worry, you have time

Ugly, fat, skinny?
No we don’t look at that too much
It’s about what’s on the inside that counts
Right, girls?

Yet we treat ourselves
So loudly, so meanly
We judge ourselves even more than the TV

We are not nice to our girls
We don’t get the same treatment

The boys walk out with their bellies held high
Yet the girl is scared to show even her thighs

But this body will crumble
And yours it will too
So to judge off the body
Is judging off that which is not true

So notice the girls
For more than how they look
And notice yourself
For more than what you see

Skip the mirror
And look up
High in the sky
Not in the smoke
Through society’s eyes

Hard worker

Look at me. I am such a hard worker.
I work 12 hours a day, sometimes more
Look at me – I can barely sleep at night

I hate my job
But I am a hard worker
The stress is practically causing my body
To not respond anymore

I have no time for friends or family
Missed a birthday or two
The games – yeah, maybe a few
Because I am such a hard worker
I just got a promotion
More money for me
More time to spend in the office
Worried about more problems
For a company
That keeps me tied to this desk

That brings me satisfaction
Sometimes
But a lot of pain
My boss yells at me
Since someone yells at her
Energy like a needle in this place
Sometimes

Look at me
I am such a hard worker
A hard working American
Though
Look at all my success
My money
I live at my desk
No time for much else but work
But look at me
Look how grand this is
Left my passion behind

Then when I die
I can say
Look how hard I worked
And all this paper I made
Look at all the love I put second
My art, my body, my family,
My plants, nature…
But that’s okay
Because of the paper

It keeps me safe
That’s what they say
I hurt some loved ones
Along the way
From all the stress each day
Sure my body took a toll
But look how hard I work!
Envy me!
Look at my car
In exchange for my soul
My job gave it to me

Now I go to the grave
With nothing but a lot of hours
Spent
Working really really hard
With less love by my side
And fewer memories to recall
Look how hard I worked though
Lucky, lucky American

I am an actor.

I demand respect.

I demand to be treated like a professional. 

I am an actor.

I would love a part. 

Any part, sure, would be great!

I am so grateful to you oh mighty one

Who hath given me a part.

Is the part what it seems though?

Is this part so high and so mighty 

To put you up on that cliff?

You who has given me a chance

In this questionable field…

Actually,

You there,

Get down off that cliff.

I am not here because of you.

I am here because of me. 

---

I stand looking down at the scale

A number I don’t want to see

A way that I don’t want to be

That number there

That can’t be me

I thought I was doing so well

---

Who put that number there

It can’t be right

---

Then, I stop I think: 

Why has my worth become a number?

When did that happen?

Scale

Bank account

Viewers and likes

---

Aren’t I worth more?

Aren’t I the stars

And the trees

And every loved soul that’s come before me?

---

Who put that number there

It can’t be right

---

Why do I look down at this sight

And feel like I am less than

Less than a light

No, it can’t be!

---

I can’t be that number there or that one over there.

No way.

---

Who put that number there

It can’t be right

---

What if then

It is true

I am not a number at all

On a scale

Or in an account

What if I am

So much more than a number

I am me

Which is all that I ever needed to be.

---

inspired by noah aguirre jr. “i love my body.”

motivation-less

don’t want to write today

at least not in long form.

just want to sleep in longer

already 9:30 but feels like it’s 11.

sleeping in feels like laziness,

makes me feel like I have nothing to wake up for.

sadness,

lack of motivation,

quarantine.

not like I was doing anything crazy before

quarantine.

but I want to go to a coffee shop.

I want to go to the woods.

I want to be somewhere else Monday through Friday

that isn’t my house.

is that too much to ask?

isn’t my house enough though?

am I ungrateful?

no.

just honest,

looking for something different than what I have now,

waiting,

for something different

hoping that day will come

where the days of nothingness combine

and create a something-ness.

until then,

maybe I’ll sleep in

get some work done,

keep writing

and stop complaining.

or I’ll leave

and go someplace else

far away from people and traffic lights,

that would be nice,

sounds nice.

Maybe I’ll go there.