I’ve read too many self-help books. I don’t know what “too many” looks like, but I imagine it starts once all the helpful “advice” you’ve read about has started to give you anxiety. That’s when it’s too much. I’ve read Tony Robbins, How to be a Bada$$, The Four Agreements, The Power of Now, Man’s Search for Meaning, The 4-Hour Work Week, and on and on and on.
Now, I will say some of these books have amazing things in them. I can’t help but wonder if any of them have really gotten me any closer to the me that I want to be though… Can a book even do that? It says it can on the title page! A new me! The best me there can be! Hello?
I often go to my dad during times of need in my life. I get my crazy head from my dad, so when I don’t know which way to turn, I go to him. I know he understands how heavy things can feel sometimes. He always tells me the same thing,
“Lex, only you know what is right for you. No one else does.”
I hear him, but I often need to hear those exact words time and time again.
In reading these “self-help” books, I was looking for answers. I was looking for answers from someone outside of myself. I wanted Tony Robbins to tell me how to be big and rich and famous too. I wanted The Four Agreements to leave me with a blissful, angelic life full of happiness. Reading those books didn’t do that though. I certainly remember things I have read in each one, and yes, they have definitely helped me in some ways, but they did not give me answers.
They didn’t give me answers to the questions that I had. Some of the books tried to give me a guideline and a how-to blah blah blah. That didn’t work either though. It didn’t work because no book can tell me what I need. My dad can’t tell me what I need either. Only I can do that.
The books often left me feeling like I was missing something. The how-to blogs made me feel stupid. It made me feel like I had missed something somewhere along the line. Why wasn’t I creating “cash flow” every month? I haven’t created an open enough environment! The people around me aren’t “positive” enough! My feng-shui is off! I am not challenging myself enough! My blog is not good enough! I need to do more!
I am not enough!
Those words echoed through my head and made me do impulsive things. It had me thinking if I could just fix this one thing, then everything would be – oh, nope. No, life is still hard. What is wrong with me? Why is it so hard? I have been chanting about my relationship with money for days! Where is my money?
I am a skeptic now in many ways to these books.
I am still a believer too. I learned some powerful things. They didn’t awaken or enlighten me though. They didn’t follow through on their handy dandy marketing promises that they said they would! Sometimes, they did help me see myself a little better though; And when I saw myself better, it helped lead me to the answers already written within my soul. That is the only real “self-help” there is.
Anything that tells you otherwise is a bunch of B.S. Do like my dad says and listen to yourself.