Category: Short Pieces

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The Spanish and Community

In America, we are hyper focused on success. The “American Dream” after all is to work so hard so that you obtain a certain amount of success. True success meaning reaching the height of that 1%. True success being the career of your dreams! How much we have is dependent on how we are valued. The people with the most money have the most power. The people that “make it” are the ones that are living the best life.

Is that true?

I just watched a music video that was made from a Spanish Colombian artist. He just married the love of his life at 26. His lyrics say (in Spanish):

I can offer you a very interesting life (Yo puedo ofrecerte una vida muy interesante)

But it depends on you what is interesting to you (Pero depende para ti qué es interesante)

If you are thinking of discos, cars, and diamonds (Si estás pensando en discotecas, carros y diamantes)

then it may be insignificant for you (Entonces puede que pa’ ti sea insignificante)

It is not the life of a rich man (No es vida de rico)

But it is very rich (Pero se pasa bien rico)

and if the house has not enough air (Y si en la casa no alcanza)

I’ll put a fan on you (Pa’l aire, te pongo abanico)

I don’t have a penny to give you (Yo no tengo pa’ darte ni un peso)

But I can give you my kisses (Pero sí puedo darte mis besos)

To get you out, I have a little bit (Pa’ sacarte yo tengo poquito)

But it’s free to dance (Pero es gratis bailar pegaíto’)

I do not have champagne to open you (Yo no tengo pa’ abrirte champaña)

But I do have beer on the beach (Pero sí cervecita en la playa)

Although there is little that I offer you, with pride (Aunque es poco lo que yo te ofrezco, con orgullo)

Everything I have is yours (Todo lo que tengo es tuyo)

When I went to Spain, I saw a different way of being. I saw a way of living that wasn’t directed towards success. It was directed towards life. It was directed towards love. Towards community.

I remember I saw a band at a bar one night in Barcelona. They were amazing! At the end, I asked the singer if they ever thought about moving to LA (where musicians go to get recognized, duh right?) He said no, not so much, he was happy where he was…

It’s been about a year and a half since I visited Spain.

I came back with less of an idea of what success looks like and more of a need to live my life. I often have tunnel vision. I see what I want and that’s all that I can see. 

I’m lucky because I have an amazing family. I have friends that are spread out all over the country. I miss each and every one of them though.

The “American Dream.”

The “American Dream” without the realest people around you to love is nothing. The “American Dream” without community is nothing. The “American Dream” alone is nothing. Yet that is so often what it portrays. The “American Dream” in exchange for life is death.

Find those people that matter and don’t ever let them go. 

Screw the “American Dream.”

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Dreamers

What about the dreamers, huh? Where do those of us go that know or feel we have a place in this world, but nothing seems to fit? What do I do when love washes over me like I am just nothing-ness? What do I do when I am questioning my worth?

What about the dreamers?

What about those of us that see this reality as a pending heaven? What if I do believe in heaven? What if I believe in heaven on earth? What if I want heaven on earth? Is it possible? Is a life that good possible? I am a dreamer. God, am I a dreamer. I melt away into my thoughts and I yearn for what is to come. I am a dreamer.

What if I think life should be everything we have wanted? What if I believe in the power of the mind? What if I believe… I have created all of my surroundings from my mind? If so then… what power that is. How frightful that is. How scary. Is that too much control? Is that then my ego? Talk to me about my ego. Tell me who is speaking.

What if I surrender? What if I surrender, then…

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The Ocean

I brought my book and towel to lay on. I had my shades and water bottle. I was ready to sit and read at the beach. As I was sitting, I started to look at the waves. I watched the white tide in the curvature of the upward motion of the water, I watched how the waves splashed in tiny barrels on the sand. I watched the ocean waves fall down upon each other. I watched them collide. I watched them flow together, seamlessly, effortlessly, randomly.

I thought to myself, “Is this the first time I have ever seen the ocean?”

Why had I never noticed the way that those barrels moved so inconsistently? Why had I never seen the white that looks like liquid marble? Why had I never seen this before?

Sidetrack to an hour before… I am perusing on the good ole’ inter web. I search “Yoga teacher training” and somehow come up on a studio called Rainbow Yoga in L.A. They have a free 30-day mindfulness course. I decide to sign up for it. I watch one of the courses, and the instructor talks about really being wherever you are. That is, not thinking about where you are, or how you feel, or that thing that is pissing you off, but just being where you are.


So today as I sat in the sand, I tried that. I tried to just “be where I was.” 

I heard the ocean’s soothing voice in motion and turbulence. I listened to it. I saw it. I felt connected to it without saying those words aloud.

Each time I had come before, it would be to think deeply about things. To ponder, to remember, to start over, to hurt, to yearn. That is what the ocean had given me. I always needed or wanted something from it. I always wanted it to tell me it would be okay.

I had never come there to just be with the water.

I had never just looked at the waves without giving it some comparison of how life is up and down, it ebbs and it flows. Yes, I’d examined the beauty before. I always thought and admired from afar though.

If I felt terrible, I would see all my woes in the ocean. If I felt hopeful, I would see all the opportunity in each crashing wave. I always used the water as a reflection, as a mirror. I had never come to just see the beauty without imposing all my human, ever-changing feelings upon it.

I had never spoke to the ocean the way that I did today.


At one point, my head told me, “Pull out your book.” I responded, “I don’t want to ruin this.”