I go for a run. I park my car a few blocks from the beach like usual and take my first few strides toward the cement boardwalk. I get a little traction and gravity has me. It is a cool night and I can feel the subtle wind brushing against my ears. The night begins to creep in and before I know it the only sign of light is from the antique like lamps briskly passing in the corners of my eyes. I cannot see the end of this man made path that allows me to walk hand in hand with miles of sand. I can see the family watching the Broncos game in the house to my left. I smell the warm aroma in their home. I hear the waves crashing yards away from me. I can feel all of this around me, but the darkness does not allow me to see what is just steps ahead.
I run. I keep going until it ends.
Running in darkness allows time to stand still for me. When I cannot see the end, I take in each moment, because what else is there. I am not counting seconds. I am focused on what is around me. I am focused on the life that is taking place inside of each home. The eternity I hear in each crashing wave. There is no lingering in my mind of when I will be done or when I will need to turn around. There is just going.
Just movement.
I try to imagine my life through these types of lenses. Although the daylight comes with each sunrise, we are all in the dark. We do not know when we will reach the end. We do not see the exact path we are on or where we will step next. We just see, hear, and feel exactly where we are. We try and pave the best path that we can. We use our today’s to try to make better tomorrow’s. We plan, plan, and question whether we are creating our own journey with each action we take, or whether we are just precarious pieces in an unusual game.
I want to take this darkness and uncertainty in where my life is and make it beautiful. I want the confusion to be just as comforting as my nightfall runs. The abyss of the future and not seeing the end of my path allows me a gift. It allows me a present, the present. It allows me now. It allows me to just keep going.
Imagine. If you were to see each gift and every tantalizing piece of adversity you will face in your entire life, would you keep on? If you could see your life like a long paved road and see each place you will falter right in front of you, could you continue? Would you want to? All the work you will do, the tears you will cry, the moments of happiness that will bring you to your knees.
If you could see everything in your future and determine exactly what steps you should take, would you want to know? Our mistakes after all are what make us who we are. If we knew, it would mean nothing. It would just be the turning of a page in a book we have already read. It would already be written. You would know what is going to happen and it would never be as good as the first time. Life would become a means to an end.
This is each of our own stories though.
We have to write our own pages. Many of us are only in the beginning of our books. We are the authors and no one else can write it for us. Each journey has so much depth and everything we experience in our lives is genuine because it is real. It happens in real time and there is no way to predict what will occur. No matter how much we plan or expect, life will happen. There is something beautiful about the emptiness of an uncertain path and not knowing what is ahead. It is filled with so much opportunity. It is filled with so much doubt. It is filled with so much life.
Just look around. Take it in. And take the next step. Keep moving. You never know what may lie ahead.