One of my professors at San Diego State told me a riddle two years ago. It went like this:
“So you have a bag. In it, you must fit a bowling ball, three volleyballs, four softballs, and two golf balls. You put the golf balls in first, then the volleyballs, then the bowling ball. You have run out of room. You put the softballs in first, then the bowling ball, then the volleyballs. You have run out of room again. You put the bowling ball in, volleyballs, softballs, and finally golf balls. They all fit. You have to put the largest ones first or there will not be room for the others. Think of this as your life. Your priorities. If you do not put the most important ones first, the other things you seek will not fit. Time them appropriately and everything will fit together perfectly.”
This class (Management Information Systems 302) was one of my least favorite classes I ever took. I did make some rad new friends in it, which made it slightly more favorable. But all in all, this class was a dud.
No skills or assignments I learned in this class changed my life, but this quote did. No, I will call it a story. This story did. He told us it preceding our college graduation. An uncertain time. The story has stuck with me since. It showed me a perspective I had never thought of before. I remind myself of it constantly. Lexi, don’t worry so much remember “ball story, ball story, ball story!”.
I actually mutter this to myself often. I talk to myself a lot… Anyway, in my interpretation, I believe I was told me that I was allowed all the beautiful gifts of life: love, career, passion, balance, and fun so long as I put them in the proper order.
I used to party. I used to party a lot. Like most of the people I know from college, we used to do wild things all the time. I used to do things like fall through roofs and crash mopeds when I would drink. Others didn’t go quite so far, well most others. I have some of the most embarrassing stories that I’ve ever heard. Truth. In college, I valued partying a lot. It was everything to me and it was the most important thing. Relationships would falter because of it, along with most other things in my life that took a back seat. But that was what was important to me, so that is what I did. No regrets. I threw fun ass parties (lol). But, as I got in trouble with the law (more than once) and those around me, something happened that really changed me.
I finally realized that other things in life were more important to me. It is a part of getting older for all of us, I am sure. I saw that trying to start a career that I would want to wake up for in the morning, living a healthy life, and spending time with my family were the most important things to me. Knowing that I was earning my money in a genuine way was important. Acting and being able to express myself creatively was important. Being there for my friends at any moment was important. Doing the right thing when no one was looking was important. Having God in my life was important. I started putting the biggest balls first for me. It felt freeing.
Everyone’s path is so different. We all have different balls (ha). I think that this “ball story”, yes so glad I have a “ball story” I can refer to, has taught me in many of the decisions that I make. I am who I am because when I start to remember what is most important in my life, right now, I can decide which path to take. I can decide where my time is better spent. I can see that I don’t need to force things in my life that are not working. Maybe it is not time for that ball, or maybe that ball doesn’t belong in my bag. Ya know?
I needed to share my “ball story” because I think it can help those of us who think that everything is supposed to happen right now. Forcing relationships that aren’t meant to be. Forcing anything that sucks the soul out of us (dramatic, I am, I know). And mainly, forcing balls that aren’t supposed to go first. I question things all the time.
“Why can’t I be in love? Am I not trying hard enough? Why don’t I make more money? Am I in the right industry? I want it all and I want it now!”
But that’s not how life goes. I think that if I put the right priorities first, I will get all of these things in due time. If I put my biggest balls first, then all the rest will fit too. Well shit, I hope. Then I will have the coolest, most colossal bag of balls you’ve ever seen.
If some of my words didn’t make you laugh, maybe this chubby pic of me with my fave ball will.
Thx.