Sophomore year college – my parents got a divorce
I didn’t cry but one tear
And I only told
One person the story
The first person I saw
When I got to my house
No significance in her worry
I buried it deep
Deep as the ocean
Because if I put it there
It couldn’t hurt me
It was survival
Or so I thought
So I needed some time
To heal
And reconvene
Some time
To do just me
But I felt judged for it
Over and over
Not just by people
But by my own inner voice
What’s wrong with me?
It echoed deep within
Where is my person
Why don’t I fit in
Everyone has someone
Time and time again
Where is mine
Why don’t I fit in
Well little did I see
That I was just grieving
And little did I note
That I needed time
Even when I was ready
That voice
It still echoed in my mind
What’s wrong with you
Why don’t you fit in
I became so scared to lose
Anything that came close
Not leading with love
Or honest or truth
Trying to be perfect – So saying nothing at all – Instead of the truth – Which was I love you –
But with fear of abandon
Or I’ll abandon you
Now I see
From a Birds Eye view
The time it took
And the people I viewed
I needed that space
To figure out within me
The best course of action
The tears that I held deep
That voice inside though
That echoed
What’s wrong with me
I can finally see
Nothing was ever wrong
You just needed time
Time you didn’t want to give
A time to breathe
To forgive
And now I’m here
I’m almost 30!
All things a new light
I can see clearly
For if to be alone
Means something is wrong
Then I’m sorry society
You do not know hurt at all
To be alone is to heal
And find oneself beneath the surface
The forgotten warrior
A shimmering earnest
My pain and hurt
They turned into diamonds
Not covered up with the scars of another
But naked bear for the world to discover
Share my pain
My happy and sorrow
Love and patience
For these things I borrow
Until another light
When all today is ‘morrow