KINDS OF LOVE (there are so many kinds)
Self. Romantic. Animal. Family. Friends. Place. Art. Job. A Time in Life. Past. Future.
When I go to Joshua Tree – I feel connected to something deeper. Every time I leave there I feel or understand something in my world that needed clarity. It speaks to me. This time, it showed me something I wasn’t looking for – like it so often does.
THE PAST can be a detriment. It can break me down to my core. It can tell me that things are not as they “should” be. Something should be different. When I dwell in the past – I forget right now. More than that though – when I dwell in the past – I see love lost.
“It’s better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.”
No.
No.
Every ounce of love that I have ever given was never wasted. It was never lost. It is not lost. I struggle with the past because I see lost love – but what a flawed viewpoint that is. Every single person/ animal/ place that I have loved is never forgotten. I have carried every single love with me every where I have gone. That may sound like a burden – but it’s not.
It is a gift.
A guy I had a crush on in my acting class once said, “There is no economy of love.”
There is never too much. So the love I felt 7 years ago is still as strong today as it was then. The love I felt 2 years ago is still here. And that’s okay. Because there is no such thing as too much love. There only is love. Every single thing that I thought I was supposed to do – every love I thought I was supposed to fight for. It doesn’t matter. The past – it was love. That is the only thing that ever mattered. That love even if it ended in parting ways – was still love. It still changed us.
It doesn’t fade… like graffiti on an overpass.
Love is written in the stars. It is Godlike and it shakes us to our core. It makes us feel alive. How did we turn something so beautiful into something so painful? We yearn for a time in our pasts. I know I have so many times. I’ve felt like dying for a time once here. I see that I don’t need to yearn for THEN though, because THEN is here too. It is in me.
Love doesn’t fade and the moments we had are sprinkled into memories like golden flakes in the sand. Touch the gold flecks and let it shine on you. It changed you. If there was love – you are not who you were before. There is no loss. Love is never lost. Love is always a gain. We learned or we ran or we cried or we felt – but for those moments we loved. That springs eternal.
Never lost. Always here.
If I can see it, I can think of you and smile because in you, I found love. In you, I will not be sad anymore or wish anything was different. How special to find love in this life. Love breeds more love. That’s what you gave me. Your love birthed more and more love. How lucky are we then…
Love is never lost
It is always here
Love is never lost
No, not really
Because
It’s the only thing that changed us
I won’t try and go back anymore
I won’t ask for your hand
I won’t claim you were meant to be mine
Because I loved you then
I still love you now
I don’t need anything more than that
To know that we loved will be enough
It was always enough
I can let you go
Knowing that I am not really letting you go
But you are always with me
Never lost
Always here
Tattooed beautiful loves of my life
I take you with me wherever I go
And remember you take me too
For my love wishes you everything still
In this shining, beautiful, crazy world
